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Divorce does not always stop abuse

On Behalf of | Sep 8, 2022 | Family Law |

For those living in abusive marriages, the idea of divorce is likely the light at the end of a long, dark and terrible path. Unfortunately, according to recent research that is not the case for most abuse victims.

How common is ongoing abuse?

According to those researchers, over 90% of abuse victims continue to be terrorized by their abusive ex-spouses. Some of these victims claim it has continued for years or decades. However, researchers note that the type of abuse does change. Why? Because the abuser is not living with their victim anymore, which makes physical contact harder.

Abuse becomes more inclusive

One way the abuser can continue the abuse is to expand the circle of abuse. This means that they can change their focus to your child, friends and family. They will begin spreading rumors about you and those that you love. They want to fracture your relationships and the relationships of the people you love. They want to cause you strife in any way they can, and often, no one is out of bounds.

They have always been good parents

The shocking truth that may have to come to terms with is that this “good parent” image the abuser showed while terrorizing you  may have been just one way they kept you in the relationship. Most abusers realize that, if they direct abuse toward children, their spouse is more likely to leave. Now that you left, they may start abusing your children.

Parental alienation

This does not necessarily mean your ex will physically abuse your children. More commonly, they will manipulate the children in order to hurt you. In some cases this means parental alienation: s psychological techniques and manipulation that get your child to detach from you.

If you notice that your child is quick to anger with you or no longer wants to have a relationship with you, have them evaluated by a mental health professional who has experience with parental alienation. They can diagnose parental alienation, and with that diagnosis, your Indianapolis lawyer may be able to make a case for a termination of custody or only supervised visitation.